Gluten Free / Dairy Free Vanilla Crumble Topping

Ok, there is something that is really, really distressing me and I need to tell  you guys about. Have you guys seen the clothes this year?

So, at the bringing of the summer I found myself in need of some new summer tops (as I often will near the beginning of a new season). Logically, I decided I’d  go do a little shopping.  I went to all my usually stores (multiple times). Plus a few stores I don’t usually buy from, but I was trying to think outside the box.. and yet we’re now well into July and I’ve yet to find more then a few tops that aren’t completely hideous or utterly weird!

I’m not a fashionista, or crazy picky about my clothes. I do like to look nice, but we’re talking simple things like wearing stain free clothing; or having something to wear something other then workout gear when I go out to dinner. I also prefer to wear clothes somewhat flatter by covering up faults, and if I’m lucky highlighting a good feature. Reasonable enough, right?

But this year…  I’d settle for looking vaguely decent. There are so many fashion horrors going on this year it isn’t funny. Actually, if I could find a few decent shirts to wear it might be pretty darn funny. I’m sure the fashion designers are laughing their pants off at us anyway.

I submit the 4 worse current fashion trends in tops for your consideration:

1. Weird and/or overdone patterns in bad color combinations. It looks like somebody barffed on most of this clothing! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have mention barf on a food blog, it’s gross. But, brown, pink, and orange chevrons will never be awesome in my book (I’m just sayin’).

2. High-low shirts. Ok, this wasn’t a bad idea in theory. Tops that are a little (keyword, little!) shorter in the front and a little longer in the back could totally work. Us girls with some junk in the trunk don’t nessisarilly object to covering up and down playing this particular asset a bit. But then they had to go and take things too far…

I tried on a cute patterned back and white, striped, high-low. It looked kind of different even on the hanger but I thought, “Be open minded.” The front was too short. Short as in I would have gotten sent home in middle school because when I raised my arms above my head we had a belly shirt  going on. But, the back, that took it over the top. It came came down to my knees. My knees! For real. I’m actually not exaggerating for effect. It looked like I was wearing a cape.

I may or may not have run around the dressing room shouting dunna, nunnna, nunnna, nunnna, batman! Come on I had to do it. I was wearing a cape.

(Though I’m not thinking that even batman could have pulled off that shirt.)

3. Way gigantic arm holes. Because, duh, the side of your bra is hanging out. I’m of the opinion it’s just not classy to have your bra hanging out int the first place; but the bit of bra under your arm pit? 

So.

Not.

Sexy.

More or less these shirts just look like you’re wearing someone else’s hand me downs that don’t fit. Or a giant’s clothes. Silly. Just so silly.

4. Too much drapery (often in strange places). Again a trend that could work; after all a little drape can be nice. It can hide a problem tummy while showing off a slim waist. Or add a little (again keyword, little!) bit of decoration. But no they had to go and ruin this one too.

This year there are so many drapes, in so many odd places:

• Giants drapes under the arms (looks like bat wings).
• So many tiered shirts (that you look like a walking wedding cake) which must, of course, be in an eye popping pattern and color.
• Drapes over the entire arm (Looks  like a one winged bird?… Or are we all Grecian statues now? Actually I kinda wish I looked like some of those statues…). 

It’s like they couldn’t figure out what else to do to make the clothes unique this year, so they just stuck extra fabric in a bunch of crazy places. A little bit could be cute. All of it? Too much. Have you heard that phrase trying too hard? Yup that sums up this type of shirt. 

PS I’m sorry if you own/love one of the above mentioned horrors and are insulted by my comments. I truly don’t mean to offend you. Maybe your just more fashionable then I, or maybe you need to get your eyes checked. I don’t know. Either way, if your loving on something I’m hating on: take me with a grain of salt and go rock it girl! It’s all about wearing it with confidence anyway. So good for you.

With all this nonsense going on, I’m sure I can’t be the only one having trouble finding clothes this season? 

Actually eventually, I did find a couple shirts that don’t horrify me; though I admit I’ve made some compromises: I now own what is probably an over draped shirt, that makes me look like a walking cupcake. But I think I’m a cute cupcake so I’m going with it. Plus, there is a high low shirt though it at least only covers my butt, not the backs of my knees. So what can you do, right? 

Well, that’s about all there is to say about that so lets move on to the recipe.

Gluten free, dairy free, vanilla crumble topping: perfect for putting on any type of fruit you like for a terrific summer dessert that everyone in the family can eat.

In this particular case, I went for lovely apples, and covered em all up in brown sugar and cinnamon. Because honestly, apple crumble is King of all the crumbles in my book. But you can use any fruit your heart desires. Then regardless of fruit choice, we bake the whole thing together till everything gets hot and goes and wonderful…

And as I’ve said over, and over, and over again, “This recipe is so good everyone wants to eat it, not just the people who need to eat dairy free or gluten free.” (See: in this post about df cinnamon rolls that don’t suck, this one about gf/df brownies, and probably many others…) What can I say? I really believe it’s really important to make gluten free or diary free recipes taste as good as the original thing. 

And as a matter of fact, I did serve this recipe, to rave reviews, to the whole fam on the Fourth of July (That’s why like 2/3rds of the dish has been eaten in all the photos. But at least you know it’s awesome tasty this way right?)

So, here’s a winner for team Gluten Free and team Dairy Free and team awesome dessert! (Hey someones gotta win and it ain’t team CuteShirt.)

GF/DF Vanilla Crumble- Makes enough to generously cover an 8X12 rectangular pan. Adapted, barely, from Chocolate and Zucchini. 

• 3/4 cup all purpose gluten free flour blend*
• 1 cup rolled oats or quick oats
• 1/2 cup dark brown sugar
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon fine ground sea salt or kosher salt
• optional 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract 
• 1/3 cup canola oil
• optional 1/3 cup chopped nuts of your choice (pecans and walnuts are particularly excellent)

1. In a medium sized mixing bowl add all dry ingredients and mix together with a fork until well combined. Add the oil and vanilla, mix until the entire mix has been moistened by the oil and clumps begin to form. Add the nuts if desired and mix in gently. 

2. Sprinkle the mixture generously over the fruit of your choice in a baking pan. Bake at 350* until the crumble mixture is a golden brown and the fruit underneath is soft. This will take about 40 minutes, but cooking time may vary depending on the size of the pan used, your fruit choice, etc. 

*I highly recommend this Pamela’s All Purpose Gluten Free Flour. It has the nicest texture out of all the gluten free flour’s I’ve found. However, be careful about which mix of hers you get, some of them actually have dairy in them. Also if you only need this recipe to be dairy free and not gluten free as well, feel free to substitute 3/4 cup of regular all purpose flour.)

Note: This crumble mixture freezes and saves really really well. I highly recommend making a double batch, and freezing in a ziplock. That way when you want to make a crumble spur of the moment all you need to do is put the fruit in a pan and toss the crumble on top. You do not need to defrost the crumble before use. Use frozen and bake immediately. It will add a few minutes to cook time. 

Another Note: In case you were wondering. In the crumble pictured in the photos I used 5 large apples (though I would bump it to 8 or even 10 next time) to fill an 8X12 baking dish. I peeled and sliced the apples. Then sprinkled the apples with about 1/3 cup dark brown sugar and a 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon.